We found out she had developed cancer at the end of February at which time it was thought she had 6 months to a year. But then, only a month later, she took a drastic turn for the worse and for the last 3 weeks or so has been living in a hospice in Regina surrounded by family who wanted nothing more than for her suffering to stop.

Today, it finally did. And I am so, SO sad. And so, SO relieved.

Grandma… is amazing. She just turned 90 in November and we threw a big party for her in Regina. I’m so happy she had that party and all those people surrounding her with love before she went downhill. One of the greatest experiences of that weekend was sitting in her living room watching her and my Dad play music together. She was so happy, always so happy, to play the piano. Especially when she had someone to play with or teach. She had perfect piano fingers and I’ve been told that when I was born she was happy to see that it looked like I had them too. Unfortunately, I never had the patience to learn when she tried to teach me but I always LOVED her piano.

I got to spend some really great quality time with her last summer when I went to Saskatchewan for jen’s wedding. It was so nice to hang out with her, just the two of us, for the first time a long time. We sat at her kitchen table and talked about… everything. We went to visit my Grandpa’s grave in Weyburn. We looked through her current journal which documented everything she deemed important to her and her family from 1979 to the week before (including a note about my visit to her that weekend).

When Grandma found out Josh and I were moving to Vancouver she was SO EXCITED. She and Grandpa had lived here during WWII when Grandpa took a job building planes. They rented part of a house in Kitsilano and when Grandpa had to go to California for his job she stayed at the house and continued going to work, taking the streetcar, to the Bank of Montreal on Hastings and Main everyday. Even then it wasn’t a great area (she often had to step over drunk sailors on her way into the building in the morning and the women had to go for lunch in groups for safety) but she really enjoyed her job. And she loved Vancouver. We had many conversations about this town and how she spent her time, what she remembered, what’s changed. After the war they moved back to Saskatchewan, but she always hoped she would be able to come back here.

Growing up I got to spend a lot of time with Grandma and Grandpa since they lived in Lethbridge, just two hours from us in Calgary. More Christmases were spent there than not, along with countless weekends, and other holiday visits. My room was always the TV room connected to the back deck on the pull out couch next to the bookshelf full of family photo albums. She was meticulous with her albums. Whenever we arrived she could always be counted on to meet us at the door with a big smile and a hug and question about how hungry we were (“Do you want a ham bun? Everything’s in the fridge!”). The house was cozy and homey and perfectly suited to them.

When Grandpa died 5 years ago, Grandma decided it was time to move back to Saskatchewan which was the absolute right decision. It’s where most of her family and friends live, including my uncle and three cousins and their families, all of which are just minutes away from her condo. Even though she didn’t have Grandpa anymore she had love in her life every single day. It didn’t really surprise any of us when she decided she wanted to buy a condo instead of moving into a partial assisted living situation. This woman… independence defined. And such a perfect grandmother. When you picture what a Grandma should look like… she was it. Small and cute and smiling with her perfectly curled hair and always put together in nice sweaters and slacks, puttering around her kitchen (“You want a ham bun?”). Always honest (sometimes too honest when you’re a teenager with bad skin and a little extra weight), never afraid to tell you what she thought (she didn’t always think highly of my choice of boyfriends but I got a whispered “You did good!” accompanied with a fervent arm squeeze when she met Josh the first time) and never really caring what anyone thought of her.

To know my Grandma was to love her. Impossible not to. I had her in my life for almost 30 years and I’m going to miss her unbelievably. But at the same time I’m so happy that she isn’t suffering anymore and she can hang out with Grandpa again. It was time.

Bye Grandma. I love you.

He’s a goof, but he’s my goof, and I couldn’t be more pleased.

totally normal, nothing to see here

WE’RE ENGAGED!

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.

I’ve thought about it off and on over the years, but for the most part I’ve been pretty indifferent to the idea of marriage. We already live together, our money is separate and will stay that way, I wouldn’t change my name. What’s the point? There is no point!

Except.

I’m not sure when exactly it happened, but I started changing my mind. And then at Christmas, during a random conversation with friends, I declared “Yeah, I totally want to get married.” And surprised myself as much as Josh who responded with, “I was always told I wasn’t allowed!”

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that I was mildly obsessed with this new idea. Luckily for me, Josh has been on board with it for years and was just waiting for me to figure out that I was being silly. So when I started conspiring with Miranda to let Josh know just how serious this was for me all it really accomplished was them, in turn, conspiring against me. Ha!

I knew that Josh wouldn’t exactly enjoy ring shopping and I really didn’t know what I wanted so I went online to look at photos of rings to figure out what style to start with. And promptly found the perfect ring for a really great price. So I forwarded the link to Miranda who told me that she would send it to Josh and talk to him for me. (by the way, I realize that all that makes me seem extremely ridiculous, but I didn’t want to end up with Josh and I just deciding that we were getting married – I’m not super traditional, but I’m definitely traditional enough to want a proposal. anyways.) So Miranda did just that and as far as I knew, Josh had received the message but wasn’t doing anything with it. At all. Every impression I got was that he wasn’t thinking about this right now. Especially after he got laid off (oh yeah, Josh’s job laid him off a couple weeks ago which is really quite awesome seeing as he wanted to leave anyways and his severance is good enough that he can take his time finding something new). So I got increasingly mopey and pathetic and downright slap-worthy.

Meanwhile!

Basically the day after Miranda sent Josh the ring link he did a bunch of research on it, figured out that it really was an amazing ring at an amazing price and ordered it (getting it shipped to M&R’s place seeing as shipping it to my work wasn’t an option). Then he just had to wait and figure out the proposal. He also spent some time calling both my parents, which I really absolutely didn’t expect and was so thrilled to find out, and letting his own family know what his plans were.

Which brings us to this past Saturday, February 5. I slept in and had plans in the evening, but it was a beautiful afternoon and Josh suggested that we go outside and do something (“Horseshoe Bay, Lighthouse Park, Whytecliff, something like that”). This wasn’t out of the ordinary at all, we do this often and I thought absolutely nothing of it. I didn’t even bother showering. So away we went to Whytecliff Park (one of my very most favourite places in Vancouver) to enjoy the sun. And it was absolutely glorious. From the herd of seals playing around in the bay to the perfect late afternoon sunlight, it was just a really great way to spend an afternoon.

And then.

Josh: You’re not going to bug me about marriage today, are you?
Me: *sigh* No… I won’t… *pouty von pouter*
Josh: *pulls ring box out of pocket* Do you mind if I bug you about marriage today?
Me: !!!
Josh: Is that a yes then?
Me: Yes!

Therein followed a lot of speechless staring and unintelligible talking during which time I got a little teary and Josh may have gotten some dust in his eyes while we looked at my perfect ring and reveled in how much we really and truly love each other.

I have to say, I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect proposal. I really couldn’t. There was no bended knee. There was not even a “will you marry me”. What there was was a surprised girl and a nervous boy and a GoPro camera to capture the moment (which the girl didn’t even know was around until she saw the captures later). There was a conspiracy within a conspiracy in order to ensure that I was well and truly surprised and it worked unbelievably well.

Later that night we made all our important phone calls (parents first followed by the rest of the family and our closest friends) and announced our news on twitter and facebook which exploded for a full day afterwards. We’ve started figuring the basics of what we want our wedding to be and are excited to get going on planning. But even more than that, we’re just really excited.

After nearly 7 years of having a boyfriend I now have a FIANCE. And then I’ll have a HUSBAND. You guys, that is so weird and so awesome.

oh so surprised!

sparkly!

oh man, so pretty

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